Thursday, November 18, 2010

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Drat! I had a fantastic self realization this morning after reading Jai's post about BookTV, and while trying to write out why it was such a lightbulb moment and what it had to do with what triggered it, my train of thought derailed.

Now instead of feeling invigorated, I'm depressed, because it really meant something to me, and I wanted to share it while it was still relevant. Stupid words flashed by too fast for me to catch them, and now I can't explain it without taking so long that the entire point is lost. A messed up sort of genius. I read something, and my thoughts pull up a bunch of things it reminds me of and connections it makes for me. But I have inadequate outflow of my thought process.

I'm sure there's the roots to an interesting alien encounter story I could pull out of how my brain works. Humans meet some race that doesn't have a strong verbal language but one of flashes of insight, references, memories. Maybe transmitted partly by telepathy. Sort of a combination of Juliette Wade's alien stories and that ST episode with that main phrase, "Darmok and [something] at Tinagra." Or something like that. I've even played around with the idea of a code based on song, movie, and book references, information wouldn't be exact, but it's a similar concept to the alien process.

Words just don't keep up. A real communication flaw when trying to deal with people who can think verbally at faster speed. Without telepathy or shared experience, it's tedious to get those thoughts across. And by the time I do, the meaning is lost. I don't even remember names well. Most people I remember their faces and references like "so-and-so from [place], met them at [event]."

Too bad I'll never write that story, because I'm still trying to hack out these other ones, and words don't like me. Not much of artist either. Too bad I can't paint with my mind instead of my hands. Look at that. Another potential idea that I'll probably never be able to utilize.

And in case you're worried about me, this is all just the frustrated flip side of the insight I made this morning about having connections to people. I have lots of connections and friends. And largely because I chose to become a writer. The physical act of writing/typing has kept me close to people I've met in person, through online mediums like chat programs and social sites, and the creative act of writing introduced me to people I now want to meet in person, though the online mediums of forums and blogs.

Yea. Me and words have a real love-hate relationship. I can't live without them, but they make me mad when they won't cooperate. Maybe later I'll try again to get across what I thought was so amazing and feel-good about what I'd realized almost 3 hours ago.


Jai Joshi said...

Jaleh, I definitely want to hear what that revelation was so you better get it back.

At the same time, I know that feeling when you have a genius thought and then it floats away when you get distracted by other thoughts that crowd in your mind. So don't worry about it too much, it happens to us all.

In the epic poem Ramayan, the guru Valmiki transfers all his knowledge to his two students by telepathy. He puts his hand on their heads and everything he knows flows from his mind into theirs. So you're idea of beings who communicate via telepathy instead of words isn't too crazy.


Jaleh D said...

Haha. Thanks, Jai. Tangents certainly have a way of distracting us, especially when they have their own measure of brilliance. Like the alien idea. Though I didn't think of the aliens until I was writing this rant. I still have that idea from this morning; it was only the words to share it that floated away.

I promise I'll try again later to elucidate my moment of self-brightening. You are very calming and inspirational, Jai. Thanks.

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